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Thanksgiving and Food, part II

Published by Sarah January 22nd, 2008 in Micah and Faith. 0 Comments

I have also had to think much about food recently as Micah has been eating solids for the last few months. This raised so many questions about what types of food should be introduced to this pure, new life. What does one eat that is good? I have chosen to breastfeed Micah for this reason– to provide him with the best food source for him, for as long as seems right.

I feel good about breastfeeding for the health reasons (for baby and mama), but there are many additional reasons why this has been, and continues to be, a good choice. I can hardly put into words the comfort and peace and joy that Micah receives from breastfeeding. It is obviously so much more than just food that he is receiving. What else I suppose I am only guessing at… but he does LOVE being so close to me. I know he can hear my heart beat (and perhaps feel even more closely the love that pours through me for him) and there has been an incredible bond forged between us during the countless hours of nursing that have transpired over the past 9+ months.

I marvel that my body produces food for Micah that grows and nourishes him. It was a wonder during pregnancy, and continues to be a wonder now through nursing. I don’t claim to understand even one bit of the biology behind it all, but from a spiritual perspective, pregnancy and breastfeeding seems to mirror so much of the Catholic understanding of Eucharist.

“This is my body given up for you. This is my blood given up for you.”

What a gift when one literally gives their body and blood to bring life to another! Mothers model Christ in this way. So, the gift of receiving the body and blood of Jesus has informed my perspective on bearing and nursing Micah, but bearing and nursing Micah has in turn informed my perspective of the Eucharist.

I watch my son put everything into his mouth. Granted, he is, and will be, in the “oral fixation” developmental stage for some time– but I also witness that the objects that Micah seems to love the most he wants in his mouth. He wants to, it seems, eat up the joy of the object. This is very true with Brooke and I. He constantly puts his mouth on us– we call them kisses, but really he’s just experiencing us through his mouth. And, this too, makes me think of Eucharist. God allows us to experience God through our mouths. The Eucharistic perspective, and the baby’s perspective is, “Taste and see that the Lord (or anything else) is good.”

Thanksgiving and Food, part I

Published by Sarah November 23rd, 2007 in Faith, Justice and Family. 1 Comment

Micah’s first Thanksgiving was probably just like any other day for him. He spent time playing with family and took some good naps and ate a few delicious meals of mommy’s milk, squash, beets, watermelon and saltine crackers. (No turkey and stuffing yet for the little one!) I think it is beautifully simple that each and every day for Micah is a day of joy, peace, wonder, excitement, love, trust and contentment. In this stage of his life, he mirrors all that is good and pure and innocent about human life. I give thanks for this foundation of love and security for him, for I know that the fear and sadness and disappointments of life will enter in all too quickly. Yet with this Love, he’ll be able to handle that, and in the big picture, overcome.

My Thanksgiving Thoughts: At times I have felt a little troubled by the fact that Thanksgiving as a holiday revolves so much around food, and the so-called traditional Turkey-day meal that for many people constitutes a day of gluttonous overeating. But for the last few years I have been thinking much about food and the role that food does, and should, play in our lives. My thoughts have all been refined as Brooke and I have been asking hard questions about food production and distribution in the global sense, and asking questions about our own food shopping and consumption in the personal sense. My thoughts are far from completed, but one thing I do know for sure is this: All of our food comes from the earth and sea, and ultimately comes from our Creator God who has given us the incredible bounty of earth, tree, ocean and stream.

It seems to me that throughout history, all people who lived with a connection to land and sea (which was essentially all people)- knew deep within themselves that they were dependent upon the creation itself for the most basic needs of life– namely food and water. And for the vast majority of these people, that dependence was inextricably linked to a dependence upon some greater god that gave the harvest, and gave the animals, and gave the source of water. I know that it is a historically recent phenomena for the majority of people in the Western world to have lost this connection, and to quite frankly, not know deep within ourselves where our food comes from, and therefore, who and what to be thankful for. When I ask my students to think about where their food comes from, they answer “Costco” and “the fridge” and “McDonalds” or slightly better, “my mom” or maybe even “a farm.” Continue reading ‘Thanksgiving and Food, part I’

The Must-Have

Published by Sarah October 15th, 2007 in Micah. 0 Comments

Before Micah was born different moms and dads had offered advice on the various tricks of the trade of parenting– especially concerning the different products and gizmos that each one swore by as a baby “must-have.” These baby must-haves usually served the awesome purpose of buying a parent a little to a lot of time away from their baby (or maybe I should say, not holding their baby.) The crucial time needed for simple things like going to the bathroom or eating something, or the luxury of time needed for doing a load of laundry or washing some dishes.

The first “I swear by this product” was the vibrating bouncy seat. Moms would insist their babies would LOVE the vibrations and stay in their chairs for up to an hour at an time. Then, other parents talked up the magic of the carseat (perhaps for the same reason as the vibrating chairs) and state that their babies would simply fall asleep if taken for a little ride. And there was the almighty baby gym. This was another “My baby LOVES to play in the gym for hours at a time” kind of product. Then there was the “Jonny Jump Up.” Another product that seemingly all babies wanted to bounce in for hours at a time. And there were smaller gadgets too. Little toys with the proverbial bells and whistles. Toys that would hook the little one and keep him or her occupied for long stretches of time.

None of these products have had any such effect on Micah. Continue reading ‘The Must-Have’

The Original Catholic Mama

Published by Sarah September 24th, 2007 in Faith, Church and Mary. 0 Comments

I have hesitated to write any posts about Mary– even though she is often on the forefront of my mind these days. Though a cradle Catholic, I must say my knowledge and devotion to the Blessed Mother has been minimal at best. Yet last year during pregnancy, and even more now during the first months of Micah’s life, I find myself reflecting a lot on Mary as Mother. I hope to be able to write more about these musings as time goes on, but today I wanted to share a little about Marian apparitions.

When Brooke and I returned from Italy we flew through Washington D.C. While there, we took a little day trip to visit the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception. Even after spending so much time walking the grand corridors of churches and cathedrals throughout Italy, and gazing at awesome works of religious art, this church in D.C. stood out as exceptionally beautiful. I was incredibly moved by the numerous side chapels and altars– all of which are devoted to Mary and telling her story and recounting the several places she has appeared. Some of these places I was familiar with– Our Lady of Guadalupe, Our Lady of Fatima, Our Lady of Medjugorie, Our Lady of Lourdes. But there were so many that were unknown to me– obscure little places such as La Vang, Vietnam, Siluva, Lithuania, Vailankanni,India, and others. Continue reading ‘The Original Catholic Mama’

The Sweetest Thing

Published by Sarah September 12th, 2007 in Micah. 0 Comments

This morning I drove Micah into school with me at the early hour of 7 am. (He is picked up by grandma at school once a week.) Usually he sleeps on the morning trek, but today he was very much awake and quite content. He was singing almost the entire half-hour long ride. His sweet little baby voice rising and falling in coos and breathy whispers and sighs and such. It was quite melodic, and surely heavenly. I found myself tearing up as I listened. It was the sweetest thing I have ever heard.

I had often wondered why so many Renaissance artists portrayed the concept of heaven as a place where fat and naked angel baby cherubs floated around singing and playing instruments. But now, I sort of get it. My little baby’s singing must be a close approximation of the sweetness of heaven. The pure bliss of the place. I continue to be so grateful for the ways God speaks (and sings) to me through Micah.

Getting Schooled

Published by Sarah September 2nd, 2007 in Micah and Work. 1 Comment

This past week I started school again. I cannot even begin to express how heart-wrenching this has been for me. The date August 27 was imprinted in my brain, and for a couple weeks prior I found myself crying daily at the thought of leaving my baby. Then the 27th came and went, as did the rest of the first week, and each and every day I cried, and cried a lot. What made the situation seem even worse was that I feared that Micah sensed my sadness and anxiety and that my emotions were impacting him in negative ways. But even being aware of this, I could not stop the powerful waves of sadness within me.

It has been well over a year that Micah and I have been super-attached. Prior to going back to school, I had only spent a maximum of 4 hours away from him. And that had only happened twice. My life has essentially been 24/7 Micah time. And I have loved it. Brooke and I had found that our parenting style most closely resembled the “attachment” parenting method. And guess what? It works! We all are quite attached to each other– especially mommy and baby, and this has made for a difficult transition into now being separated for long hours throughout the weekdays.

However, the good news is that Micah is doing better than anticipated. He is spending two days a week being watched by Grandma Riggio and the other three days being watched by a nanny in our home. He appears to be adjusting fairly well and will probably pick up on this routine fairly quickly. Mom, on the other hand, is still struggling.

Mr. Sandman

Published by Sarah August 15th, 2007 in Micah, Family and Travel. 0 Comments

In early August, Brooke, Micah, Mia and I drove down to the Oregon Coast along with our friend Amber for a brief camping adventure. We were especially drawn to Tillamook because there are free cheese samples there. But, aside from the free cheese, the Oregon coastline is truly amazing. Especially on a sunny weekend like the one we had.

One whole day was spent on the beach, enjoying the sounds of the surf, gazing out at the ebb and flow of the waves of the Pacific, admiring the hilly tree-lined cliffs that butted up against the beaches, and running hands and feet through soft, warm sand.

Micah seemed to really enjoy his time on the beach, but I couldn’t be perfectly relaxed. We put a beach towel down on the sand and laid him on this. I tried to make sure he had sunscreen all over, and we made some shade for him with our moby wrap tied to a big piece of driftwood. But of course, Micah wiggled and squirmed, and the shade didn’t really protect him from the sun as well as I would have liked. I found myself worrying that he would get burned (and if he did, of course it would be all my fault.) And then there was the sand…

Micah immediately discovered the sand and his little hands worked like tractors scooping up baby-fistfuls of the golden stuff and dropping it everywhere. All over his towel, all over himself, all over his face. I could see the glimmering of specks of sand on his eyelashes and in his ears and on his lips. He never put handfuls of sand in his mouth, thank the Lord, but sand got pretty much everywhere. I tried to gently wipe the sand off of him, off of his face, off of the towel. The sunscreen application, though, made this a tougher task as it worked like glue, keeping all the shimmer stuck on Micah’s skin. In addition to Micah’s playing and squirming, there was a slight breeze that was blowing sand onto us anyway. It would have been impossible to keep my baby sand-free. And because of this, I worried. What if sand got in his eyes? What if he ate some? What if the sand got into the crevices of his skin and irritated him? Once again, fearing that if any one of these things happened, I would be at fault and feel terrible for not being more attentive. And to be really honest, some small part of me was just annoyed at the “dirtiness” of it– wanting to keep my baby perfectly clean.

Then, there was another mom on the beach spending the day with her three children playing in the surf and the sand. I could hear her yelling at her children to stop playing in the sand because they were “getting sand everywhere.” She continued to yell at them to wash themselves more thoroughly in the ocean waves because they were covered in sand and dirty. Internally, I was so upset at this woman. I couldn’t believe the way she was speaking with her children, and found myself uttering a little prayer: “Lord, help me from ever being like that.” I despised her control-freak-like ways, and found myself saying more than once, “Geesh, lady, you’re at a beach for crying out loud. Get a grip. Of course sand gets everywhere.”

And the moment hit. Speck of sand in her eye, log of driftwood in mine. Oh Lord, I am that woman trying to control things that are not mine to control. I never thought of myself as controlling before motherhood. But it seems like it’s almost impossible not to be with the level of responsibility that comes with being entrusted to care for such a vulnerable little one. Yet I think this is the great challenge of Motherhood — allowing life to be messy or maybe even painful recognizing that with or without anxiety, sand does just get everywhere.

Noisy Jesus

Published by Sarah August 13th, 2007 in Micah, Faith and Church. 2 Comments

When Brooke and I flew to Italy, we were apprehensive about how Micah would do on the plane. We joked about who was feared more on an airplane: a terrorist or a crying baby? (By the way, Brooke thought a terrorist baby would be the most feared.) Seriously, though, there is something that runs deep within our culture that doesn’t really allow for babies to make noise. News flash here: babies do make noise. Not only do babies cry, but they screech and squeal and scream and laugh and babble and spit and blow bubbles and sigh and hiccup, etc.

I was very self-conscious about this while traveling on a plane, but the other place that I have felt this unspoken pressure to keep my baby quiet is in church. I am all for the discipline of silence, and feel that there are times and places when silence must be upheld and respected, but I don’t think Mass is one such place. I am very grateful that the Catholic churches I have been a part of allow for babies and children to actually be in Mass with their parents. But, some places more than others, allow for babies to be present “full-volume.” There is something very important about this (aside from being welcoming to families.) Continue reading ‘Noisy Jesus’

M.A.T. (Mother Against Turtlenecks)

Published by Sarah July 22nd, 2007 in Micah. 2 Comments

It was a few weeks ago that I decided to try putting a turtleneck on Micah. It wasn’t that it was a particularly cold day necessarily, but I often see babies in turtlenecks and I thought I’d give it a go. NEVER AGAIN will any baby of mine wear a turtleneck. I don’t know if I could fully explain this, but while wearing a plain ash gray turtleneck, Micah looked OLD. Not like an old man, like some babies, just OLDER, like a larger child.

I hated the feeling of looking at my little baby and seeing him beyond his 5 months. I find myself constantly thinking of what little time I have with Micah as a baby. He’s definitely outgrown the term newborn. I have a growing stack of clothing that doesn’t fit him anymore. His little baby gym is quickly becoming too little for his increasing length. Soon (perhaps too soon) he’ll be crawling, and all of this feels like him taking more and more steps away from the womb, and also away from mom. Micah in the Moby

I can acknowledge that it is healthy and essential for a baby to grow, and to move, and to explore and move away. (All in due time, of course.) But, my heart also cringes at these steps. And this cringing, or sadness even, is a constant reminder to enjoy the present moment, because 1) it’s all I have and 2) it will leave me very quickly.

I have found that older parents like to admonish parents of young babies to “Enjoy it now.” Just today while walking in the park a woman had to remind me that my child’s years will fast-forward in “the blink of an eye.” Yes, yes, Micah is constantly growing. As we all are; yet it is so dramatically pronounced with little ones. Enjoy him now. Hold him close now. Savor every little moment. And pray, pray, pray that I’ll let his growth happen and be glad for it as time moves us all along. And never dress him in turtlenecks.

Only in Seattle

Published by Sarah July 19th, 2007 in Micah and Seattle. 0 Comments

What to do with diapers? The question is a tough one for parents who take environmental stewardship seriously. (Did you know that one-third of all landfill material is disposable diapers??) And since Catholic Social teaching demands that we care for our earth, Brooke and I struggled with the options facing us as we care for baby Micah.

We have been trying to implement something called “Natural Infant Hygiene” which is a way to have our son “diaper-free.” (I’ll post more about this later.) But simultaneously we have been using a new type of diaper called a “g-diaper.” These g-diapers are completely flushable, so waste goes where waste belongs.

For the past 5 months we have been using these diapers and flushing them down our toilet. That is, until last week when we started having some plumbing issues. Continue reading ‘Only in Seattle’

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